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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 19 Feb 2006
Notes left: 246
Last seen at: Canada
I think it's worse to have no mother. Because then you are left wondering what hyour relationship with her could have been like.

Okay, and I am NOT lying here, I swear:

I have a friend who was abandoned in an apartment building when she was a baby. The only thing her mother left her was a scrapbook with a few pictures in it.
My friend was adopted and she's in university now, but she can never talk about her real mother, or she gets seriously depressed.

So yeah. I think having a bad mother is better, even though it's sad.

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Gravedigger
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Missing since: 07 Aug 2005
Notes left: 521
My opinion would be to have no mother at all.

you never said anythign about having a farther so i assuming that we woudl have a farther in that case. but iif u think about it. this day and age it could be 25-30 year before u move out of your house into your own place. wll to be honest this is to long of a time for me to have a bad mother. it a large part of your life and it been filled with pain, emotions, bad emotions etc. and to be honest i wouldn't like that at all.

having a bad mother could change ur life for the worse. its been stated that most families that have bad relationships tend to have higher chance of there kids becoming into rime and that lot. so what ur mother does does tend to rud of onto you. if shes nasty. you'll be nasty. if shesnice she'll be nice

ok yeh it also works th other way round. but its still something else u need to think about. well for me it is atleast


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RESPECT
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Missing since: 19 Jul 2003
Notes left: 19401
Last seen at: #lfk
Okay. What's worse: A bad mother?, or two fathers?...

This is such an open-ended question that's going to lead to a multifarious amount of answers that's all based simply on opinion without substance: I don't believe the majority of the people have lived entirely without a mother to offer a solid argument or counter-point as to which is worse--especially considering the same person can't have lived a life with a bad mother and without a mother at all.

Same sort of discussion as to which is better: Having siblings or being an only-child.

But I guess it's all about opinions anyway, so what's it matter. I'm gonna go read South of the Border, West of the Sun again--and wait to see who gets the reference...

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. . . AND THAT'S THAT.


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Hope House Careworker
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Missing since: 01 Apr 2005
Notes left: 699
Quote:
Without even her voice in this world, I've never been so bitter, lonely, or lost in my entire existence.


Having something then losing it is worse than never having it at all.
Apart from virginity.
Unless you're... ...sexo...phobic...

I think no influence would be preferable to a bad one.


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My Bestsellers Clerk
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Missing since: 09 Mar 2006
Notes left: 422
Last seen at: Woodside Apts, AZ
Agent J:To have lived and loved is better than never to have loved at all
Agent K:Yeah? You try it.
Courtesy of the movie MIB :mrgreen:

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"My days of taking you serious are close to a middle." - Firefly
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Biomechanical wrote:
It is much better to have no mother at all than to have a shitty mother.

This video makes the reason very clear.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mean_mom.html


Yeah, right that. Was really interesting to read ya guys posts, but I think it would be better, if doesn't have mom or if you have a really shitty mom, but I don't really have experiences these kind of thing's, so I don't really know what else to say. I have a good mother, at last I think so..


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Historical Society Historian
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Missing since: 14 Mar 2004
Notes left: 2542
Last seen at: The Boro, Englund
WalterSullivanTragedy wrote:
I think even someone who hasn't had to experience it first-hand can understand it just based on personal life, friends, and knowing about relationships in general.


Wrong. It's like, you can be as booksmart as you want, but you still won't know how to survive on the streets.

As sympathetic as I would be, and can never really connect with someone who has suffered the death of someone close to them, as I have been fortunate enough not to lose anyone I am really close with.

People who listen to you when you tell them about a dysfunctional family background will often take some kind of high-road, as if they are to analyse and provide answers to your problems. Most times, though, they get the complete wrong end of the stick.

"I miss my mother so much."
"But didn't she used to beat you?"
"Yes."
"Then why do you miss her?"

This isn't an experience of mine (I shan't bother sharing my own), but this is often the mentality of people who have not been through such problems. Or, they try too hard to understand, and end up not being much help.

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Difficult quastion. I grown up without mom (I have her, but she lived another country, and I met her once in every 3-4 years), but she was a good one, she is a good one now. But anyway, I have to say, that growing without mom is not so cool - especially the period when your are growing from a child to a teenage.

When you have no mother at all, in my opinion - you'll never know was she good or bad. When you have the bad one - most likely you won't want to have the same for your kids (or decide never kids at all).
Of course, from the point of view of people around it's better to have no mom at all, it's more safe (no one would beat you, or be drunk or something like this), but any child would prefer to know his or her mom, when he or she never met her.

Nearby the place, where I live I often see two boys with their mom. I think she doesn't mind drinking, and they usually have no money (she's selling something and the boys ask people for money - but they do it the way no one notice that they are really so poor and need it - they ask something like: "Don't you have some coins you don't need?" or something like this). Once I've seen one of them (the youngest), his mom was screaming at him and I felt like it would be better for him to have no mom at all. But then, in some moments she told him, he should go to the shop and warm there (it's cold here in Moscow). And I thought, that most likely she loves him.. the way no one around would understand.


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 Post subject: ya.

I guess not having a mother at all would be pretty bad cause even with a mother that isnt well off, she could still change for the better, were if you didnt have one at all, you would never know what it would feel like to have one[/u]


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Just Passing Through
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Missing since: 11 Jan 2007
Notes left: 4
Last seen at: Nottinghamshire, UK
I'm quite torn between the two really, on the one hand, a bad mother will cause one pain and distress, but that person would at least know the person who brought them into the world. On the other hand, having no mother at all from day one would mean that person would never miss having a mother, but would possibly become envious of others who have mothers, bad or not. I personally wouldn't count my mother as being 'bad', but she is disabled and unable to care for herself, let alone anybody else, but i don't count that as being a bad mother, just being unable to care and provide for her family, but since i have a brilliant father who works himself to the bone for us, i don't count myself as being so bad off.


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Historical Society Historian
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Missing since: 22 May 2006
Notes left: 2647
Last seen at: Bristol
Can you really say that one is "worse" than the other? You can't really view such matters as objectively as weighing up pros and cons to having a bad mother and not having a mother at all.

You couldn't say that a person who grew up with an unfit mother "feels worse" than a person who never had a mother. Emotion isn't as black and white as that - it can't be added up.

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Historical Society Historian
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Missing since: 09 Jun 2005
Notes left: 7464
Last seen at: Kentucky
^ very well said, I agree with you. :)


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I can't really speak from personal experience as I had a wonderful mother whom tragicaly passed away. I am however related to some pretty terrible mothers who care so little for their kids you wonder why they had them in the first place.
Case in point. My cousin is a horrible person in general and even worse when it comes to her kids. I'm really close to her oldest daughter (she's like my little sister) and I know how deeply she hurts from how her mom is. I try to do what I can for her and it gets me so angry that her and her siblings are treated that way.
Just the other day she told me she wouldn't cry if her mother died. Now that's got to be pretty damned hard on a kid to be thinking such thoughts. So I think a bad mother is worse. Of course it also depends on whether you have someone else to turn to too.
I always want to rant about that woman but I don't think this is the place.


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Just Passing Through
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Missing since: 02 Aug 2006
Notes left: 69
Last seen at: Scotland
I think it's important that we remember Walter's murders are not essentially motivated by his lack of a mother, rather by the corruption of a cult.

I'm not sure which is worse, having a bad mother, or no mother at all. I think it depends very much on the circumstances. For example, If say, I had been abandoned as a child and never really got to know my mother, I'd of course resent her strongly and in that situation wish I'd never had a mother than have a bad one.

If my mother was a bad one, I think it really depends on just how bad. If say, she was abusive then of course I assume I'd long for her to just disappear, however the loyalty felt by a child to his parents, in particularly to his mother can create a complicated situation, you can still love someone while at the same time hating what they do to you. So all in all, I think to answer this question you have to have either experienced a situation of either or be very wise, of which I am neither.

Looking back, this seems a pointless response possibly, but it's way too much not to contribute now.

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Historical Society Historian
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Missing since: 01 Aug 2006
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Last seen at: I'm here, and waiting for you
Corruption of the Cult had nothing to do with it. Infact, most of his motivation was basically a gesture of "Fuck you" to the cult.

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I thought he meant the special powers of her vagina.


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Just Passing Through
 Post subject: Re: Walter has got me thinking.....
     
         
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Missing since: 19 Nov 2010
Notes left: 117
Interesting question... honestly, I think the less crappy people in your life, the better. So, I'd have to say to not have your mother in your life at all is the better option. Even if it's the only person you would have in the whole world, why bother having them around if they're going to drag you down even farther?

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If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.


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