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Rosewater Park Attendant
 Post subject: Re: Funny Things About Silent Hill Version 3.0
     
         
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Missing since: 06 Mar 2008
Notes left: 1459
Last seen at: Colonia Claudia Ara Agrippinensium
^Haha those were absolutely priceless! The one with Henry having sex with the "hole" was the funniest joke I've read about Silent Hill ever. Just please don't call my humour "naughty", lol.

I got inspiration for doing some myself. I'll be back!

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SHH Cult Subscriber
SHH Cult Subscriber
 Post subject: Re: Funny Things About Silent Hill Version 3.0
     
         
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Missing since: 03 Jan 2005
Notes left: 4685
Last seen at: Colorado
^I'm really glad someone liked them- I wasn't sure whether my sense of humor would be shared! Awesome that you're inspired to work on some. I'll give you and/or someone else a chance to contribute before I do any more. :P

Yay! My favorite thread is being revived!

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Rosewater Park Attendant
 Post subject: Re: Funny Things About Silent Hill Version 3.0

Missing since: 12 Jan 2008
Notes left: 1299
Sorry if this is old, but I got one...

The two Pyramid Heads skewer Maria (again), than jump down to attack James. James pulls out his gun, then pauses.

JAMES: "Wait a minute. I saw you raping a couple of monsters awhile ago."

PYRAMID HEAD: "Yup."

JAMES: "Well, that means you're male, right?"

PYRAMID HEAD: "Yeah, so what?"

JAMES: "So THIS!"

He kicks one PH hard, right in the privates. The Pyramid Head doubles over and falls on the floor, groaning in agony.

PYRAMID HEAD: "Arghhhh! That was SO not fair!"

JAMES (to the other PH): "Now, are we going to have a problem, you and I?"

OTHER PH: "Not at all."

He hands James his egg and quickly leaves.

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SHH Cult Subscriber
SHH Cult Subscriber
 Post subject: Re: Funny Things About Silent Hill Version 3.0
     
         
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Missing since: 03 Jan 2005
Notes left: 4685
Last seen at: Colorado
(Based on the famous “it looks like a doghouse...” quote)
Harry walks up to a house on Levin Street and finds that it's locked. Annoyed and wanting to get out of the fog and snow, he walks up to a smaller structure on the front lawn. He says to himself, "It might be a doghouse, but I can't be sure since there's no dog around."
He steps closer and feels something squishy beneath his shoe. He raises his foot and sees brown, accompanied by a foul smell. "That might be dog poop, but I can't be sure since-"
Suddenly growls can be heard from behind him. "That might be a dog growling... is it? Does that sound like a dog?" He stands there for a moment listening to the growling thoughtfully, then realizes he should turn around to face the threat. But before he's fully turned, he's met with a harsh impact and is knocked to the ground, dropping his steel pipe.
He struggles with the creature that is now on top of him for a minute, then manages to draw his handgun from his belt and shoots the creature in the head. After heaving its corpse off himself, Harry stands and takes a good look at the creature that attacked him.
“It is a dog,” he says. He turns back to the doghouse and raises his arms in triumph. “It IS a doghouse! I was right!” Harry then crawls into the doghouse to take shelter from the fog and snow, throwing his smelly shoe out.


James stands looking down into a dark, deep-looking hole. Nothing else to do but jump down it. He braces himself and then jumps, but mid-jump, it occurs to him this is a terrible idea.
Not quite able to stop the jump now, he scrambles to grab the edge of the ground and stops himself from completely falling. He holds on and calls for help as he hangs there.
Laura appears over the edge.
“Laura, help!” he pleads.
She smiles mischievously and raises her foot as if she's going to stomp on his hands. James is unsure whether she's serious or joking, but his face fills with terror.
“No...” he says.
A man, Harry, appears behind her and moves her out of the way. James sees- and smells- that Harry has poop on his shoe.
“No!” James says, and, determined not to let Harry step on his hand with that (unaware that Harry would do no such thing), lets go and falls to his doom.


*Edit 4/29/14*: I forgot I'd written these 2 and just re-read them. Those were pretty bad! What in the world? If I was a drinker or smoker, I'd say I must've been intoxicated when I wrote them. Because now I... don't find those funny.

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