To Kill One's Child

[Void]

It is interesting to note that the idea of killing one's own child, known as 'filicide', (thankie for the term, Wikipedia) turns up several times within SH3, and is also a large underlying 'goal' of the game. Admittedly, one was a red herring which misled me, but I think there is enough of filicide within the game to be more than mere coincidence.

The most obvious is Leonard Wolf's discussions with Heather, in which he decides he should (must?) murder his daughter Claudia, due to continued differing P.O.V.s in their intense religious fanaticism. He realizes that she'll never become acceptable in his eyes, and concludes: "Well, I guess it's time to dispose of her." This is hardly a surprise, considering how much cruelty and scorn he has held for Claudia all her life, coupled with his violent, murderous view of those who are not 'chosen'; even his own words show his colors, as his notes in the hospital's Day Room states, "The world is teeming with unnecessary people. It's God's decision that I fight." The only reason he probably hadn't already murdered his daughter before being institutionalized is that he exercised some measure of 'fatherly love', i.e., patience. As he admitted to Heather, "She's a fool, but she's still my daughter. I was going to forgive her if she changed her ways." Leonard fails to murder his daugher, because he is murdered by Heather first.

The second example was Harry's notebook in his apartment, intended as a sort of revelation gift for Heather, should the time come. Within is this passage: "I confess I had reservations at first about raising that baby. Could I love her? Her existence was thoroughly unexplainable. I thought 'she could be that young woman who snatched away my beloved daughter.' That led to sadness, anger... there were times when I put my hands around her tiny little throat. Several times I even considered abandoning her. That's what a terrible person I am." In this case, the filicide would have been done out of fear and unacceptance (the 'translyvanian peasant' syndrome). On top of that, many parents would likely share the feeling of sadness and anger, if their child was taken away from them forever, and replaced with another. You can't simply replace your loved ones like you can food or consumer goods, and expect things to run smoothly. Harry fails to murder his daughter, because he is a kind and loving man despite it all.

The 'red herring' filicide is related to another topic I will put up asap on the SH3 forum. Listening to the woman in the Church's confession room, it sounded to me as though she is confessing the murder of her own daughter, because the only people she spoke of was herself, her daughter, and God. No one else is mentioned until near the very end of her drawn out confession. At that point, she asks for God to "deliver the soul of my poor murdered daughter." *and* to "Please also care for the soul of the girl whose life I haven taken". Had the word 'also' been taken out, I may not have realized she murdered her daughter's *killer*, and would instead assume she was being emotionally/poetically redundant. Had those two sentences been separated as well, I'd have never thought there was anything to misinterpret in the first place. Whether this was meant to be intentionally misleading (perhaps to continue the filicide theme?) or not, it certainly had me fooled for most of the dialogue, and for a good while after, until I looked up the exact wording. The confessor never even thought to murder her daughter, though her circumstance and words make it seem as though she had. She did, however, succeed in murdering her child's murderer.

There is also the overshadowing truth about why Heather even exists. None of these details are pushed into players' faces in SH3, but they still have profound significance for the nature of Heather, of Alessa's Memory, of much of the game. Dahlia Gillespie, (adoptive?) mother of her former self Alessa, had attempted to burn that self to death, in a ritual to bring forth God. None of the previously mentioned filicides were carried through, but Dahlia's was actually attempted... and although Alessa did not physically die, being torn into separate living entities, with the original left to exist in a tortured, mutilated body with a broken, agonized mind for years is pretty much equivalent to murder, in my book. So for all intents and purposes, I'd say Dahlia 'succeeded'.

Finally, one of the main purposes of the entire game concerns filicide: Heather's desire to abort or otherwise kill the God within her. I won't go into details or quotes about this, since there's hardly any need to with something this inherently well known and widely discussed in the game and forums. Whether the killing of one's own *unborn* child may only be considered a 'felicide' or an 'abortion', and whether the two terms can be interchangable is debatable. Then again, one could hardly consider God to be a 'child' in the normal sense anyway. Like the others, Heather also fails to kill her 'child', but she *does* abort her. We all know the bizzare reason why God survived that though... Claudia and her sacrifice as a surrogate mother.

I should note that this makes every single one of the children targeted for parental murder a female; they are all daughters. This seems to be in keeping with the predominantly feminine focus of the entire SH series, and I certainly don't mean in the stereotypical sense. Heather is in fact God's mother (again, not in the normal biological way), and we know the God is female, despite the lack of the term 'Goddess' in the SH mythos.

In conclusion, I find that filicide, and all that it entails, is as profound and deep a concept/theme of SH3 as any other. The question remaining, I suppose, is why I am fascinated enough to make an essay about filicide in the first place... but that, Oh My Brothers (and Sisters), is left for you to assume.

[Mis Krist.]

There's also the fillicide between Heather and the God!foetus--only she has every right to kill it since it'll destroy the whole fuckin' world.

Anyway, I rather like your observations. Good points all around, I agree with them and such. I always thought that the confessor in the church had something to do with Alessa--perhaps something she wanted to hear from her mother. That's farfetched of course, Dahlia felt no guilt or remorse whatsoever since her fatal flaw was ambition and lunacy, but it seemed to me that the entire church after you speak with Claudia at the altar (when you first enter it) was primarily influenced by the child Alessa, the little girl who just wanted her mother to stop being a goddamn psychopath and love her (this is the "good" Alessa, the one who makes maps for you and sobbingly leads you to where you're supposed to be with bloody footprints). I'm sure that she wanted her mother to express guilt, grief and remorse for what she did to Alessa, an impossible and hopeless wish, thus the whole reason why this woman--who may or may not even exist--confessed and begged forgiveness from God. Just an embodiment of one of Alessa's wishes. But like I said, that's my own two cents and it doesn't matter if no one else buys into it.

[Void]

By Vatiel, how could I have forgotten the Heather/God filicide?! I *knew* there was a much bigger, far from subtle example somewhere, but I couldn't figure it out for some reason! Thank you muchly for that point. I added it in as another paragraph.

Your ideas about the Confession woman are interesting, even touching, and I hope you will elaborate or at least post them on my next entry, since it is entirely focused on that strange event.

Edit: There.. I think I've reworded those third- and second-last paragraphs enough now. Also, I'll have to wait to blab about the confession room tomorrow.. I need to get some sleep..

[Mis Krist.]

You're very welcome <3

And sure, I can elaborate on my craziness. Sorry it'll be so long and drawn out.

Deep down, as a natural and almost primitive desire, everything needs a mother. Not in the biological sense exactly, but in the emotional, psychological sense. A mother is a symbol of support, love, stability, protection, and I believe this desire would be incredibly strong in a young girl who only wanted her mother to love her, take care of her--Alessa was a "pitifully dark" child who was tormented throughout all the years she was alive, but initially she was innocent, and had simplistic, innocent desires, such as her mother's love. An example of this is the spectral argument you see between mother and daughter on the stairwell in Silent Hill 1, right before the final boss fight.

DAHLIA
Come on! Come on!

ALESSA
No! No! I don't want to!

DAHLIA
Do as mommy tells you, now. I just
want you to lend me a teeny bit of
your power, that's all.

ALESSA
No! I don't want to do it!

DAHLIA
It will make everyone happy... and
it's for your own good too.

ALESSA
No! But mommy, I just want to be with
you. Just the two of us. Please
understand.

DAHLIA
You really mean it... yes, I see.
Maybe mommy has been wrong.

ALESSA
Mommy...

DAHLIA
Why didn't I see this before. There's
no reason to wait. Herein lies the
mother's womb. To obtain the power to
create life. I could have done it all
myself.

ALESSA
Mommy!?

Now, I could analyze the fuck out of that one. Womb, mother, create life--obvious stuff. The womb is the penultimate symbol of protection, warmth, comfort, and it's connected to motherhood. Dahlia brutalizes her role as mother to Alessa by, obviously, using her and burning her alive, but also failing to provide this sense of comfort and protection. This is what Alessa desires.

Alessa's influence and "touch" you could say is all throughout Silent Hill, especially the one Heather witnesses in its transfigured state. Alessa's desire to commit fillicide, to even destroy herself, tortured, bound and bloodied figures are part of the atmosphere, hell you even see a baby dangling above an abyss by its mother's hand (in the Otherside version of Hilltop Business Centre) is a very obvious theme, but there's also Little Alessa's touch: the church. Notice that the map to the church is drawn in crayon and is obviously a child's sketch, also note that the church has key locations from little Alessa's past--the school, the hospital basement room, parts of the church itself (the belfry, the altar). Also, at points int the church, you can hear a little girl sobbing and see bloody footprints on the floor. These footprints lead you to places you need to go--without Alessa "pointing" them out to you, Heather would be unable to move ahead.

Anyway, those are examples of Little Alessa being manifested, somehow, within the church. Because of the aforemention basic desire of a mother and protection, Alessa would probably want her mother to act more like a human being with emotions, she would want to hear her mother admit to doing wrong, to feeling guilt for committing an ultimate atrocity against an innocent life, thus explains this woman in the confessional booth. There's the possibility that she is a spectre of one of the cult members--they seem no strangers to being abusive towards children (Leonard, Hope/Wish House, for example)--but I'll stick with my ongoing theory if that's okay. This woman is praying to God to forgive her for what she's done.

Woman: Dear God, please forgive me. I know I’ll be put to death for the sins I’ve committed. And I’ll go to my death gladly. And with a peaceful heart. But please grant me just a small piece of your everlasting mercy. Let me see my child once within your Golden Gates. Send me not to Hell, but to Purgatory. Allow me to atone for my sins there. I’ll stand within the very Flames of Redemption no matter how they burn me. Forgive my wicked act of revenge. And deliver the soul of my poor murdered daughter. Please also care for the soul of the girl whose life I have taken. God, I’m a child, trembling with fear as I stare at death. Soothe my tortured soul with your infinite mercy. Please forgive me.

I'm not saying that this woman is speaking of Dahlia's crimes against Alessa, rather a similar one to what Dahlia did. I see this confession as a representation of Alessa wanting to have her mother's love expressed in some way, and also wanting her mother to beg her [Alessa's] forgiveness. She wants her mother to admit to doing wrong. The speaker clearly feels maternal warmth for her child, and even for the innocent girl she killed--she asks God to look after them both, to "deliver" them. This is something Dahlia never felt, as Alessa was just something she could use to further her personal gain. This however is something Alessa wanted Dahlia to feel.

I was never very good at writing these essay things--thoughts spring to me all the time so I always jump around and the flow of the paragraphs and sentences never really make much sense, but I hope it's somewhat coherent.

Edit: Just a thought that happened to spring to mind--see what I mean--The woman says that she took revenge, assumingly for her daughter's death. Why, then, would she call the girl "innocent"? Wouldn't you think that the revenge she took would be on the person who killed her child, and not someone free of the crime? For whatever reason the whole "Rebirth" concept sprang to mind--both the Alessa cycle and the Rebirth Ending in SH2. It doesn't exactly fit, but I don't know. Like I said, random shit springs to mind.

[Void]

*weeps!* Nooooo, I meant that you should elaborate in the pertinent post I'll make tomorrooooow!!! ;_;

Though filled with sorrow, I am impressed by the bigness of your elaboration! I'll have to read tomorrow...

Must sleeeeeeeeep....

[Mis Krist.]

It will be here, waiting to be picked apart like the meat on bones, tomorrow. I assure you. Now get some sleeeeeep. This topic should, hopefully, remain likewise dormant until then.

[Void]

Make that the day after tomorrow, I just realized I have................... plans...


*dies of sleep depravation in meantime*

[Anonymous]

Hey, nice thread with interesting points.
My 2cents:

and we know the God is female, despite the lack of the term 'Goddess' in the SH mythos.

IMO the God has no gender, we see it having different forms, probably forming the way the ones who invoced it had it in mind. Every time it's born, it's weakened and flawed thanks to the ones who tried to stop God's birth, so probably we never see it's true form to judge his/her/its probable gender.

I'm sure that she wanted her mother to express guilt, grief and remorse for what she did to Alessa, an impossible and hopeless wish, thus the whole reason why this woman--who may or may not even exist--confessed and begged forgiveness from God.

Never thought about it that way. That suggestion makes more sense to me than the theories that the begging mother is Claudia or Dahlia or some random woman. Reminds me the scene in SH1 where Alessa says "But mama I just want to be with you, together, please understand", or something of that short. So maybe that voice is her own desperate inner wish that she was -deep deep down- loved by her mom?

Dahlia Gillespie, (adoptive?) mother of her former self Alessa, had attempted to burn that self to death, in a ritual to bring forth God.

I thought that Dahlia knew/planned that Alessa would be burned-but-not-dead in order to nurture God through her suffering and soon bring it's birth, but her plans were stalled (for 7 years) because her daughter split her soul in two.

[Void]

Having read your analysis of the confession woman, a More Impossible Girl, I honestly can't think of anything to add or debate about from there. Nor do I see any need to go into some massive long-winded discussion of the subject. You've done that well.

Wolfera, whether the God has a gender or not, its followers idea of it being female immensely helps/expands/supports/whatevers the feminine focus of the series. As for Dahlia knowing Alessa would not actually die, I still say she commited the equivilent (and worse) of murder nonetheless. Good points though.

[The Adversary]

>we know the God is female
Epicene. God is neither gender.

The Confessor? Alessa, in a sense. Heather as well.

Dear God, please forgive me. I know I’ll be put to death for the sins I’ve committed. And I’ll go to my death gladly. And with a peaceful heart. But please grant me just a small piece of your everlasting mercy. Let me see my father once within your Golden Gates. Send me not to Hell, but to Purgatory. Allow me to atone for my sins there. I’ll stand within the very Flames of Redemption no matter how they burn me. Forgive my wicked act of revenge. And deliver the soul of my poor murdered father. Please also care for the soul of the girl whose life I have taken. God, I’m a child, trembling with fear as I stare at death. Soothe my tortured soul with your infinite mercy. Please forgive me.

[Void]

It was the confessor's father who was murdered? Geez, talk about a misleading game dialogue transcript... *kicks gamefaqs*.

Now it sound more like Claudia talking about Leonard...

[Mis Krist.]

The game doesn't say father, too, so.. fuck the game's translation. Boo. I've got some embarrassing egg on my face. :\

[Void]

The game doesn't say father, too, so.. fuck the game's translation. Boo. I've got some embarrassing egg on my face. :\

It doesn't? Did you change the word to 'father' to make a point then, Adversary?

[Mis Krist.]

It's possible that that's from the Japanese script.. but I dont know how they could mistranslate "father" to "daughter.."

[The Adversary]

>Did you change the word to 'father' to make a point then, Adversary?
Yes. Like I said, it's representative of Heather & Alessa.

Why is Heather in Silent Hill right now? To kill Claudia. Why does she want to kill Claudia? For killing her father.

[Disciple of Claudia]

If you were a mother would you be willing to murder another child to protect your own child. Would you be willing to slaughter several children to protect your child or children. Treacherous waters motherhood be.

[PHOENIXinFLAMES]

It's possible that that's from the Japanese script.. but I dont know how they could mistranslate "father" to "daughter.."

Heh, it might be possible...
"Ojousan" means daughter, "Otousan" means father. Maybe someone writes their "j"s and "t"s wrong...or vice versa and the guy reading it mistook it for one or the other.

[The Adversary]

>it might be possible...
I was merely making a point, as mentioned on the previous page.

[Jedah]

Very good point Void. You also forgot to mention the case of Walter Sullivan, another un-wanted child left for dead in SAH Apts. to add to that filicide theme of the SH games.