What Would Uwe Boll Do?

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 22 Apr 2006

What Would Uwe Boll Do?

I thought it would be pretty funny to start a topic and change around certain scenes the way Uwe Boll would see fit. For instance, when Cybill got acid spit on her, she'd do a series of cartwheels dodging more acid while she fired gunshots into the monster (all in slow-mo btw) when she finally unloaded her entire clip into him and saw he was still alive, the rock music would start playing, she'd strip down to her bra, throw her gun and get into a karate stance. More acid would be spit her way, but a slow-mo matrix dodge would totally leave her un-pwned, then she'd finish him with a swift round house kick to the grape.

Fin'

Post by **safcftm33** » 22 Apr 2006

Noisy Plain wrote:What Would Uwe Boll Do?
she'd finish him with a swift round house kick to the grape.

LMFAO

i dont know much about uwe boll apart frm the facct that hes a crappy director

Post by **28/m/nazareth** » 22 Apr 2006

The sets would be made out of cardboard.

Stained Purgatorial Alter · Post by **Stained Purgatorial Alter** » 22 Apr 2006

Well for one thing he would have the nurses wearing bikinis. Instead of Rose's jacket being the only thing pulled off her, it would be her top as well. That's all I have.

Post by **safcftm33** » 22 Apr 2006

he would use his rabbit as pyramid head and maybe his cat for the grey children

Post by **28/m/nazareth** » 22 Apr 2006

Tara Reid would replace Radha as Rose.

Post by **safcftm33** » 22 Apr 2006

and paris hilton into cybil, but with her in it would turn into a stripshow

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 22 Apr 2006

28/m/nazareth wrote:Tara Reid would replace Radha as Rose.

And Christian Slater would make a cameo, for no other reason than to make sweet, sweet love to her.

Post by **overachiever547** » 22 Apr 2006

Kristanna Loken would play old Alessa, magically healed of all burns and instead sporting a red, almost completely burnt-off bikini and moaning suspiciously. As she tears up the cultists with her barbed wires and the rock music kicks in, Rose screams "Noooooo" as she strips, I mean ahem tears at her clothes in agony at the gruesome sight. Christabella pulls out a big ass rocket launcher and delivers a slow motion backflip as a barbed wire narrowly misses her, then proceeds to blow the bitch to hell as she screams cornily "I am killing you bitch now! Arghh..."

(note the badly written dialogue)

Post by **stone_psycho** » 22 Apr 2006

if uwe boll directed it, silent hill would be on an island, and the plot would centre around a bunch of scantily clad teens going to a rave having sex. then there would be slowmo shots of some breasts, possibly a monster somewhere. then there would be an explosion.

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 22 Apr 2006

overachiever547 wrote:Christabella pulls out a big ass rocket launcher

hahahahaha

Remember the name of the movie would also be changed. Instead of Silent Hill it would be Silent Island, because we all know Uwe Boll has to include an Island in all of his movies.

Stained Purgatorial Alter · Post by **Stained Purgatorial Alter** » 22 Apr 2006

stone_psycho wrote:if uwe boll directed it, silent hill would be on an island, and the plot would centre around a bunch of scantily clad teens going to a rave having sex. then there would be slowmo shots of some breasts, possibly a monster somewhere. then there would be an explosion.

That's fucking hilarious!!

Post by **overachiever547** » 23 Apr 2006

Oh God, when I first heard that there was going to be a Silent Hill movie, I was immediately scared that it would fall into Uwe Boll's grimy little hands...

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 23 Apr 2006

Write the screenplay himself and not even play the games.

Post by **StinkBomber** » 23 Apr 2006

The Grey Children would have been packin' machetes and other household weapons, as well as having a snarky "Chuckie" esque laugh.

Post by **overachiever547** » 23 Apr 2006

Boll would miss a major clue in the script and accidentally give the Armless some arms -doh-

Post by **Hell_is_Silent** » 24 Apr 2006

We do not say his name!

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 24 Apr 2006

Instead of Rose's clothes changing color throughout the film...she would just progressivly loose clothes.

The nurses would have been naked...and instead of twitching they would have jumped at Rose.

The part where Cybil shoves Rose into the elevator...they would have shared a long kiss in bullet time.

The ending of the movie would have been given away in the first ten minutes.

Bits of game footage would have been used...you see Cybil shooting at P-Head and all of the sudden...you cut to a clip of James shooting P-Head in the game.

Before Cybil gets roasted...her shirt would have been burnt off.

Something explodes.

~Shin~

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » 24 Apr 2006

Michael Madsen would be cast in the role of a midieval knight.

....... oh wait.

Post by **ravern** » 24 Apr 2006

the main star would become rambo and carry rounds loads of weapon. at first she would not even of held a gun before. but within ten minutes she/he could take it apat in 10 seconds flat.

there will be zombies with lots of blood. no mention of pyramid head or any other character. would be his own designs and music. also the monster will be jumping around the place. slow mo getting shot in the eye.

Silent Hill Heaven

What Would Uwe Boll Do?

What Would Uwe Boll Do?

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