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 Post subject: What Would Uwe Boll Do?

What Would Uwe Boll Do?

I thought it would be pretty funny to start a topic and change around certain scenes the way Uwe Boll would see fit. For instance, when Cybill got acid spit on her, she'd do a series of cartwheels dodging more acid while she fired gunshots into the monster (all in slow-mo btw) when she finally unloaded her entire clip into him and saw he was still alive, the rock music would start playing, she'd strip down to her bra, throw her gun and get into a karate stance. More acid would be spit her way, but a slow-mo matrix dodge would totally leave her un-pwned, then she'd finish him with a swift round house kick to the grape.

Fin'


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Cafe5to2 Waitress
 Post subject: Re: WWUBD?
     
         
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Missing since: 18 Mar 2006
Notes left: 181
Last seen at: England
Noisy Plain wrote:
What Would Uwe Boll Do?
she'd finish him with a swift round house kick to the grape.


LMFAO

i dont know much about uwe boll apart frm the facct that hes a crappy director


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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 07 Dec 2005
Notes left: 191
The sets would be made out of cardboard.

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 Post subject:

Well for one thing he would have the nurses wearing bikinis. Instead of Rose's jacket being the only thing pulled off her, it would be her top as well. That's all I have.


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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 18 Mar 2006
Notes left: 181
Last seen at: England
he would use his rabbit as pyramid head and maybe his cat for the grey children


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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 07 Dec 2005
Notes left: 191
Tara Reid would replace Radha as Rose.

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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 18 Mar 2006
Notes left: 181
Last seen at: England
and paris hilton into cybil, but with her in it would turn into a stripshow


Last edited by safcftm33 on 22 Apr 2006, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:

28/m/nazareth wrote:
Tara Reid would replace Radha as Rose.
And Christian Slater would make a cameo, for no other reason than to make sweet, sweet love to her.


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Gravedigger
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Missing since: 22 Apr 2006
Notes left: 452
Kristanna Loken would play old Alessa, magically healed of all burns and instead sporting a red, almost completely burnt-off bikini and moaning suspiciously. As she tears up the cultists with her barbed wires and the rock music kicks in, Rose screams "Noooooo" as she strips, I mean ahem tears at her clothes in agony at the gruesome sight. Christabella pulls out a big ass rocket launcher and delivers a slow motion backflip as a barbed wire narrowly misses her, then proceeds to blow the bitch to hell as she screams cornily "I am killing you bitch now! Arghh..." :D (note the badly written dialogue)


Last edited by overachiever547 on 23 Apr 2006, edited 2 times in total.

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Just Passing Through
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Missing since: 29 Mar 2004
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if uwe boll directed it, silent hill would be on an island, and the plot would centre around a bunch of scantily clad teens going to a rave having sex. then there would be slowmo shots of some breasts, possibly a monster somewhere. then there would be an explosion.


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 Post subject:

overachiever547 wrote:
Christabella pulls out a big ass rocket launcher
hahahahaha

Remember the name of the movie would also be changed. Instead of Silent Hill it would be Silent Island, because we all know Uwe Boll has to include an Island in all of his movies.


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 Post subject:

stone_psycho wrote:
if uwe boll directed it, silent hill would be on an island, and the plot would centre around a bunch of scantily clad teens going to a rave having sex. then there would be slowmo shots of some breasts, possibly a monster somewhere. then there would be an explosion.

That's fucking hilarious!!


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Gravedigger
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Missing since: 22 Apr 2006
Notes left: 452
Oh God, when I first heard that there was going to be a Silent Hill movie, I was immediately scared that it would fall into Uwe Boll's grimy little hands...

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 Post subject:

Write the screenplay himself and not even play the games.


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Gravedigger
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Missing since: 06 Mar 2005
Notes left: 537
Last seen at: Somewhere?
The Grey Children would have been packin' machetes and other household weapons, as well as having a snarky "Chuckie" esque laugh.

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Gravedigger
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Missing since: 22 Apr 2006
Notes left: 452
Boll would miss a major clue in the script and accidentally give the Armless some arms -doh-


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Cafe5to2 Waitress
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Missing since: 23 Apr 2006
Notes left: 233
Last seen at: Deep down in places you don't talk about at parties.
We do not say his name!

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 Post subject:

Instead of Rose's clothes changing color throughout the film...she would just progressivly loose clothes.

The nurses would have been naked...and instead of twitching they would have jumped at Rose.

The part where Cybil shoves Rose into the elevator...they would have shared a long kiss in bullet time.

The ending of the movie would have been given away in the first ten minutes.

Bits of game footage would have been used...you see Cybil shooting at P-Head and all of the sudden...you cut to a clip of James shooting P-Head in the game.

Before Cybil gets roasted...her shirt would have been burnt off.

Something explodes.

~Shin~


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 Post subject:

Michael Madsen would be cast in the role of a midieval knight.

....... oh wait. :lol:


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Gravedigger
 Post subject:

Missing since: 07 Aug 2005
Notes left: 521
the main star would become rambo and carry rounds loads of weapon. at first she would not even of held a gun before. but within ten minutes she/he could take it apat in 10 seconds flat.

there will be zombies with lots of blood. no mention of pyramid head or any other character. would be his own designs and music. also the monster will be jumping around the place. slow mo getting shot in the eye.


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